Stage 5: Acceptance

I was changing Ryan's diaper last night when I had a weird sort of epiphany. I was thinking about all the lucky people who will get to sleep in this morning and tomorrow and the next day and I was thinking that it will probably be at least 15 more years before I get a chance to sleep in past 7. And I was okay with that. This is the life I have chosen and I'm okay with all the consequences of that choice. Then, I started thinking some more. That sounds an awful lot like acceptance, the 5th stage of grief. So then I looked up all the stages of grief and sure enough, I've been grieving my loss of sleep for the last 2 1/2 years.

Stage 1: Denial "I'm fine." "JJ will start sleeping soon and then I'll be able to get more sleep."
Stage 2: Anger "Why does he have to get up this early." "Why did I get a morning baby."
Stage 3: Bargaining "I would give anything for one Saturday to sleep in 'til 10."
Stage 4: Depression "This is never going to get better, is it." "Sigh"
Stage 5: Acceptance "It will get better eventually, this is just part of the journey right now." "I like those quiet moments in the morning when it's just us hanging out in the chair."

I'm sure there will come days when I'll revert back to one of the earlier stages, but for now, it's nice to see the sunrise.