Randomness

Sorry for the lack of posts. Between spending time with kids, preparing for Christmas, and uncooperative children at nap time, I haven't had much time to just sit down. But now that Christmas is over, I hope to get a little more on top of things. Plus, the thought of a new year always gets me excited to re-evaluate and re-prioritize and organize things.

For those who are waiting for our Christmas card, don't worry, they will be mailed soon. I knew we wouldn't get our family picture done until after Christmas, so I made New Year's cards instead. The family picture turned out pretty good. I think the sweater I wore might have been a little to thick (I think it makes me look bigger than I am), but all in all it looks good.

One more bit of randomness: last night as JJ and I were snuggling in bed he said, "Mom, what's tar-raid?" I made him repeat it several times while I'm racking my brain trying to figure out what he's talking about. Finally I realized he was trying to say "trade" a word in one of our night time songs. We talked about the meaning and then one song later, he asks me what a child was. I just love his curiosity and how grown-up it is for him to ask the meanings of words. He's also started asking about letters so I guess that's what we'll be working on this year.

More pictures of holiday happenings and a possible revival of my craft blog to come, stay tuned.

2 months

Ryan is 2 months old. We went for his check up and he weighs in at a meaty 13 lbs 10 oz. and 25 inches. No wonder he keeps blowing out of his stage 1 diapers. Yes, Mike, his head is big, just like his brother. JJ also got round two of the H1N1. I thought round two had to be a shot so I was prepping him before we got there and told him if he was good then he could have a lollipop after (the kid loves his lollipops). Turns out he could have the mist again, so we didn't really think to offer a lollipop. We are packing up, getting ready to leave and he looks at me all indignant and says, "I didn't get my lollipop." So we had to rectify that situation.

Ryan, however, did get shots. When he woke up from his nap, I fed him and when he was done, he immediately started screaming bloody murder. He screamed for 25 minutes before I called the nurse. She acted like I was crazy. She told me, he's in pain. I told her my other son never did this after shots. She told me I was lucky, crying is a more common reaction. He screamed for another 25 minutes before he wore himself out and fell asleep. I had to hold him the rest of the day. If I even attempted to put him down, we started all over again. Yikes! not looking forward to the 4 month check up.

Lollipop

Jer got a haircut yesterday. It sometimes takes me 3 or 4 days to notice, but JJ always notices right away. This is the conversation they had yesterday when Jer got home.
JJ: Dad, did you get a haircut?
Jer: Yep
JJ: What color lollipop did you get?
Jer: I didn't get a lollipop. Do you get lollipops when you get your hair cut?
JJ: Yes
Jer: What color lollipop is your favorite?
JJ: I like all colors (waving both arms in large circles to emphasis all)

Stage 5: Acceptance

I was changing Ryan's diaper last night when I had a weird sort of epiphany. I was thinking about all the lucky people who will get to sleep in this morning and tomorrow and the next day and I was thinking that it will probably be at least 15 more years before I get a chance to sleep in past 7. And I was okay with that. This is the life I have chosen and I'm okay with all the consequences of that choice. Then, I started thinking some more. That sounds an awful lot like acceptance, the 5th stage of grief. So then I looked up all the stages of grief and sure enough, I've been grieving my loss of sleep for the last 2 1/2 years.

Stage 1: Denial "I'm fine." "JJ will start sleeping soon and then I'll be able to get more sleep."
Stage 2: Anger "Why does he have to get up this early." "Why did I get a morning baby."
Stage 3: Bargaining "I would give anything for one Saturday to sleep in 'til 10."
Stage 4: Depression "This is never going to get better, is it." "Sigh"
Stage 5: Acceptance "It will get better eventually, this is just part of the journey right now." "I like those quiet moments in the morning when it's just us hanging out in the chair."

I'm sure there will come days when I'll revert back to one of the earlier stages, but for now, it's nice to see the sunrise.

Separation Anxiety

My stay in the hospital was quite a traumatic event for JJ and it has had some interesting ramifications.

Often we'll be playing and he'll just stop, come over and give me a hug and say, "I'm so glad you came home from the hospital to be with me." It's been 7 weeks and he still does this. He also gets very upset if he wakes up from a nap and I'm not there or if I go somewhere without him.

Last week I went to a stamping class. About 15 minutes before I left, we told him where I was going and what I was doing. He started crying and begging to come with me. After enough bribing with candy and Rock Band, he said he would be fine and I could go. But then I started packing Ryan up to take with me. JJ was horrified. "Ryan needs to stay here." I can just imagine the injustice in his mind that he had to stay home, but Ryan got to come with me.

All Smiles

Time Change

I hate the time change. How do you convince a 2 yr old that he's supposed to sleep an extra hour. If Arizona can get by without changing times, why can't the rest of the country, or at least Utah.

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween from your friendly neighborhood elephant and pumpkin.We had a pretty subdued Halloween. I put up a few decorations, bought some candy and costumes before Ryan arrived. We bought pumpkins but never got around to carving them; I was just too tired. JJ kept reminding me that his costume wasn't scary. He was very concerned with what was scary and what wasn't. He picked his own costume this year. I showed him the Thomas and Lightning McQueen costumes but he passed all those up for an elephant. I found this one at Costco and it said it was for ages 2-4. We didn't actually put it on until the night of the Ward Halloween party, only to discover that it was for ages 2-4 in Munchkin Land. It was very tight so JJ didn't like to wear the hood. But he loved the costume, and loved trick-or-treating in our neighborhood. He kept saying how excited he was to be able to eat his candy. So now I have to ration it all. He has too much energy already without adding sugar.

Sorry Ryan

I got up with Ryan at 5:30 in the morning, having just fed him an hour earlier. So I grabbed the pacifier (which he doesn't like) and we headed downstairs so we wouldn't wake JJ up. Ryan was not to be consoled. I couldn't physically feed him again (it had only been an hour), but I was considering giving him a bottle and trying to figure out the logistics of going back upstairs to make a bottle without waking anybody up. And then I paused and thought. The last time I was up, I went into JJ's room to put a blanket on him and that was at 2. Ryan and I had been asleep for a respectable 3 1/2 hours. He was legitimately hungry and I was trying to shove a pacifier in his mouth.

So Ryan, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to starve you. In my defense, not many people can think clearly having been woken up from a dead sleep at 5:30 in the morning. I'll try to be better.

Perspective

These past two and a half weeks have gone by swimmingly. Much better than expected. In fact, I can honestly say it has been a joyful experience. Much different than my first go-around. My experience with JJ was tainted by two problems. Unrealistic expectations and inexperience. Those two forces combined to create some nasty postpartum depression which is only compounded by exhaustion.

So this time around I tried to be slightly more prepared. I had absolutely zero expectations for myself and this baby and I was ready to call in as much help as I needed. But it hasn't been bad. Ryan is a champion sleeper, so I can spend time with JJ and both boys go down for naps at the same time and so does mom. I find myself trying to cherish those little moments more. I'm not in as big a hurry to set Ryan down. I find myself breathing in that baby scent a little more often. Because I know that this won't last forever. A little perspective has made me a much calmer, more appreciative mother.

Brothers

You all know that I was kinda hoping for a girl, but I must say after these past two weeks, I am so glad that we have brothers. It has been so much fun watching these two get to know each other. JJ has been fantastic with this transition. He always asks to hold Ryan, get in the crib with him or wanting Ryan to sleep in his bed. When we are nursing, JJ sits on the other side and rubs his head. Ryan, for his part, is very patient and tough.

There have been some funny moments. When we were getting ready to leave the hospital JJ said, "Ryan needs his mommy." He was a little perplexed when I responded that I was his mommy. Later that day, when Ryan was crying, JJ said, "Ryan needs to stop crying." If only it was that easy.
A few bumps have come up too. JJ was quite upset the first time Ryan used "his" stroller and blanket, so we bought a new blanket and have used bribery in exchange for stroller use. Also, we were driving in the car when JJ said, "We need to drop Ryan off at the dog pound." (I have no idea where that came from.) I asked him what Ryan was going to do there and he said, "He will wait until we come and get him." We have 4 pumpkins on our front porch, one for each of us and the Ryan pumpkin often gets kicked off. But other than that JJ has been wonderful.
I know Ryan recognizes JJ voice because when Ryan gets fussy, JJ starts singing to him and Ryan immediately calms down. JJ looked at Ryan yesterday and said, "That's my friend." I certainly hope those feelings last.

Surviving on my own

My mom left on Saturday and I spent most of the day trying not to cry (somewhat unsuccessfully). On Sunday, I got up, put my big girl panties on and with Jer's help, we survived the day with no tears. The day went really well. Monday was another good day. I think I'll be able to handle two kids.

Ryan is here

So I know many of you have been dying to hear the story. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get to blogging, I've been a little busy.

Ryan arrived a week ago, on the 6th at 5:11 in the morning 8 lbs 4 oz and 21 inches long.

I was scheduled to be induced Tuesday morning at 6. Monday afternoon I started having contractions, but it was the same stuff I'd been having for weeks so I thought nothing of it. I went to SLC to pick up my mom from the airport and we got stuck in horrible traffic. I nearly gave my mother-in-law a heart attack when she heard I was stuck in traffic, having contractions. And my mom wants it noted for the record that she did offer to drive home, but honestly, I was feeling fine.

So we ate dinner and got everyone settled in and went to bed. By midnight the contractions were intense, but sporadic. I finally woke Jer up at 1 and we were off to the hospital. I needed antibiotics for Strep B so they got me started on those and I got my epidural, but they weren't going to break my water until I got a second round of antibiotics, scheduled for 5:30.

Well, my water broke on it's own at 4:45 and the baby was ready, so a quick call to the doctor, who showed up at 5:07 and less than 4 minutes of pushing and Ryan was here. There are more pictures at the link on the right and if you don't have the password and want to see the pictures, just leave me a comment and I'll e-mail you the password.

A betting man

On Monday, my doctor said that if he were a betting man, he'd bet I'd be in labor within 48 hours. Well, I guess it's a good thing he's not, because he would owe me money (it's Friday). We've had lots of false labor, but no baby. I'm not disappointed other than September 30 was the day I had been hoping for from the beginning. On the upside, Wednesday night, Jer and I found a name I think we agree on, so this child might actually leave the hospital with a name. I don't want to jinx it though, so I'm not going to tell you what it is just yet. I'll keep you posted with more baby news (even if you don't really want to hear it).

Weather

Just thought I'd let you all know that it is currently snowing. Yesterday the high was 86 and right now, it's actually snowing. I know someone out there who is loving this and I just wanted to let her know that I'm thinking about her while enjoying this change in weather.

Polling

I've never posted a poll, but I figure a baby's due date is a good thing to poll. I appreciate my loyal commenters who have already voted, but I know I have more readers who just browse (my family), so for all of you out there, just push a button and guess.

Starting today, my babysitters and back up babysitters have finished any task that might impede their availability, should the need arise, so this baby can come anytime, and really, the sooner the better. I'm ready.

Irritating/Funny

Those of you who are followers of Cars might remember this line, said by a visitor to Radiator Springs on his way through the town.
"I don't need a map, I have the GPS. Never need a map again. Thank you."

So this phrase has become common place in our house, only it is replaced by whatever part of dinner JJ doesn't want to eat.

"JJ eat your peas."
"I don't need peas, I have the GPS. Never need peas again. Thank you."

"JJ finish your pizza."
"I don't need pizza, I have the GPS. Never need pizza again. Thank you."

Also used during rest time.
"JJ it's time for rest."
"I don't need a rest, I have the GPS. Never need a rest again. Thank you."

Irritating at the time, but kind of funny when I reflect on it. Another of JJ's sayings that fall in this category:
Mom or Dad: "I'm sorry, that's just the way it is." or "You need to do________."
JJ: "I don't think so, Daddy (Mommy)." (while wagging his finger)

Don't know where he picked it up, but we're tired of hearing it.

Too Big

Last week we went to get a milkshake and my stomach was too big to fit in the booth. Nice.

Also, my clothes don't fit. Jer tries to kindly point out if I'm hanging out, and I'm appreciative, but honestly, if maternity clothes don't fit, what exactly am I supposed to do.

The good news is that the doctors say much progress is being made and I will be induced early, but I'm hoping we might get a baby even earlier than that.

My mom will be proud

This is a story for my mom. Our stroller is filthy. Too many juice spills, smashed fruit snacks, and spilled ice cream. Every time my mom comes to visit she says, "Let's clean the stroller while I'm here." But her stays are never long enough and there are far more fun things to do with her than clean a stroller. So Wednesday night, I had a nightmare that the baby came and I still had a dirty stroller. Not that it would have been the end of the world, but apparently my subconscious is trying to tell me to get my rear end in gear.

So Thursday, JJ and I had a car wash with the stroller and his car seat, which was suffering from the same problems. Cleaning a stroller is actually a lot of work. It requires a lot of unscrewing and disassembling. JJ hosed down the frames and me as well. After all the padding had been washed and dried, I actually remembered how to put it all back together. So there you go mom, it's done.

Peaches

When we moved we left our beautiful garden, but inherited a well tended peach tree at this house. This weekend, the peaches just couldn't wait, so Jer and I spent Friday night and Saturday canning 28 bottles of sliced peaches. I've never canned peaches before, but luckily Jer is an old pro thanks to his mom and all their fruit trees when he was younger. He had us a whole system going and it was pretty efficient for there just being two of us. The only problem we ran into was that our new stove is flat and it takes a long time to get 21 quarts of water to boil on that kind of stove. So it slowed us down a bit, but we got better and better and by the last load, we were pros. The best part was that it was just fun for Jer and I to be doing something like that together. I loved just being with him, and I couldn't have done it without him.

While I'm on the subject, Jer deserves lots and lots of good husband points this week. I've been a little whiney and cranky and he just listens and puts up with it and is so helpful around the house. I've also been the recipient of many leg, back and neck rubs this week, which are much appreciated. I think I'll keep him around for a little longer :)

The Move

Well, everything with the move went much better and much faster than I expected. We had great help on both sides from neighbors and especially family. I am so grateful to live close to wonderful family. We couldn't have done it without their help. As we've been unloading, nothing is broken and I recently found the one box I thought we had lost. I got the kitchen and two bedrooms unloaded and organized fairly quickly and I've been taking my time with the rest of the house. It's exhausting work and it can wait. I did recently get the baby's room painted so it's ready to be decorated and unpacked and then I'll really feel like the baby can come and I'll be ready. My favorite part of the new house right now is the ceiling fan in the master bedroom. It has made night time much more comfortable.

JJ's new shoes

Many of you have been following the Cars shoe saga this year. About a month ago, I got a notice that these beloved shoes were being recalled. I wasn't sure JJ would be able to part with them, but I had noticed that they were getting a little tight, so I decided that at the end of the summer season we'd trade them in. I've been looking online, trying to find some Cars tennis shoes, but since the movie is old, nobody is really making Cars products much anymore.

Today we decided to hit Payless and get his feet measured and see what was in the store. They had one pair of Cars tennis shoes, but they were a little more than I had wanted to pay ($23). But JJ loved them and they even light up. I wasn't sure we could find another pair of Cars shoes so I decided I'd go ahead and get them. We got a $17 dollar credit for the recalled shoes and when she went to ring up the tennis shoes, they rang up at $6 (no way!!!) So, since it was BOGO, he got another pair of casual type shoes and I spent less than $10. Score!!!

Potty Progress

A good parenting moment to remember. Last night JJ asked to used the potty before bed. This is a stalling mechanism and is nothing more than him playing around before bed. It had been a long day and I just wanted to say no, but finally decided that I would let him. Well, wouldn't you know, he actually used the potty! And luckily, I had some M&Ms on hand for a reward.

Today he has asked to use the potty several times, but only once did we get anything. He's really just looking for some M&Ms. I'm hoping that he can start making some connections with how it all works, and kind of figure it out himself, because I am really dreading potty training. We won't start until after the baby is born, but it looks like he's about ready.

Baby News

I realized that with all the house excitement, Shadow Boy has kind of gotten lost. Well, he is working darn hard to make sure he isn't forgotten. He is far more active than JJ ever was in utero. Since the ultrasound the doctors have never been able to measure his heartbeat because he won't hold still long enough to get a good reading, or he just kicks the radar. He rolls around and kicks and stretches all day long, especially at night. None of this bodes well for my future. I'm destined to be chasing kids the rest of my life.

I've been having lots of Braxton-Hicks contractions (fake contractions) and two nights ago about 4 in the morning I had several about every 7-10 minutes. I knew it wasn't anything big, but since I couldn't sleep I started thinking about what would happen if the baby came soon. I realized that I have no clothes to bring the child home in, nothing is washed, all the car seats are wrapped in bags in various rooms of the house and I'm not sure which bag is the bassinet. Seeing as how I have 6 weeks left and the doctor said he'd induce me a week early (so only 5 weeks left), I'd probably better start working on a few of those things.

Not even born and the poor kid is already being lost in the shuffle. Welcome to being a middle child, Shadow Boy.

It's official

Last night we closed on both houses!! There's no backing out now. I am really excited. I didn't realize how much stress I was feeling about everything working out until we left the signing and I felt so free. It's 6 a.m. right now and I've given up on falling back asleep. Today is the moment of truth. I'll find out how well I've planned, if I've pre-packed enough, if we even have enough boxes for all the last minute stuff. I'm a little concerned about the cleaning, mostly because I just get so worn out. So, this will be my last post for a little while. I'll be a little busy. But I thought I'd leave you with the last of the house pictures. As you walk in you see the stair way downstairs. This is a picture of her cute decor, because I'd like to do something similar.
This is the theater room with all the equipment and another fireplace.
This first bedroom is fun because it not only has the bedroom space but and extra nook for toys and things.
And this is the other room. There is also a full bathroom downstairs, but honestly, do you need another picture of a bathroom. You all know what they look like.
The laundry room is really big, which will be nice. They have their office set up in there and we'll probably do the same. Through this room is a big storage room.
So there you have it. If you're ever in the area feel free to stop by. We'd love to show it off.

The countdown begins

Well, on Saturday we will be out of our house and in a week, we'll be in our new home. Jer and I worked hard on Saturday getting the garage all boxed up and today my MIL and BIL came over and helped me pack up most of the kitchen and some remaining odds and ends. It was a big help. All that's left are the essentials, which will have to wait until Thursday. Here are some inside pictures of the house. You walk in the door and on the right is a nice living room.

You walk around the living room and on the left is the kitchen, which I didn't get a picture of and on the right is this mud room. I saw this and I was sold. How many moms would love to have this. Cubbies for everyone and extra storage. The garage is right there and so is the back porch.
If you turn left from the living room, you get to the bedrooms. This one will be the nursery, after I paint it. Lavendar is nice, but not with a house full of boys.
This is the next room. It will be JJ's.
And across the hall is the master with vaulted ceilings and a ceiling fan (yeah). It has an extra long counter with the sink and extra large tub and a separate walk in closet.
I'll do the downstairs later.

Great Weather

We've had 3 days of great weather. I've enjoyed not melting, especially at night. Tonight, I find myself looking up the weather channel hoping that the nice weather will last for the next couple of day, weeks, months, etc. Alas, it won't. Back to sleeping on the couch with the fan on. Bummer.

Progress and Pictures

I'm happy to report that we are making progress on the packing. I have about 3/4 of the office packed and most of JJ's room packed except a few books, toys and clothes. It's a little slower than I would like, but even at this pace, we'll be ready to go right on time. Some of our out-of-town family and friends haven't seen the home so here are a few pictures of the outside. I'll do the inside another day.
The swing set in the back

Our porch, on which we will enjoy many mosquito free evenings. and if you look underneath, you'll see...

...this, a well shaded sand box that JJ cried over when it was time to leave. He is so excited about it. He thinks the trucks come with it, so I may have to see if I can track down something similar, but it will be great.